Ever since I can remember, I have had a heightened sense of the endless possibilities that lie forgotten within the human being, or rather: within our nature as consciousness. This intuition, coupled with what I saw in the world around me and my personal frustration with my circumstances, the stupidity of going to school, and the unconscious acting of people in general, as I perceived it — culminated in a compulsive urge to get to the root of all things; to find the truth that lies at the Heart of all that is.
So it was, that at the age of 16, I consciously decided to commit myself to the search for 'The Source of All Things.'
I intuited that this Ultimate Answer, as I called it at the time, would reveal to me (or anyone else sufficiently aware of it) such a deep understanding of the workings of life that – through and by the power of that understanding – one would be capable of resolving any issue, question, or practical matter for any individual's path to total well-being, as well as lead to our entire civilization's liberation from conflict altogether.
I soon realized that the understanding I was seeking would not only contain access to any answer ever asked for, but would also effectively deal with the causes of internal suffering and the belief in separation and lack.
In retrospect, the innate qualities or tendencies (earnestness, dedication, compulsion, intensity, seeking drive, extremism, etc.) which caused me to strive and suffer the most in that approximately 6 year period of intense spiritual, mental, emotional and physical ups and downs, were also what heavily contributed to my relatively swift liberation from suffering altogether.
Our perceived flaws usually turn out to be our greatest allies when we give them enough space to reveal their true purpose.–Bentinho Massaro
My journey led me to many teachers, teachings, philosophies and deep into places within my own consciousness. Here is a list of some of the things I studied and applied in depth until I felt I had exhausted the techniques' usefulness, and had seen their pros and cons, their ins and outs: Various forms of Meditation (Vipassana, Transcendental, Yogic, Samyama, Motionlessness, and others); Mindfulness, Yoga, Pranayama, Ayurveda and the yogic philosophies and practices of higher consciousness; I went to live in spiritually-swamped places in India for a while (which is a practice in and of itself); NLP, EFT, several personal development courses and intensives; Silva Mind Control (utilizing the Alpha and Theta brainwaves); Reiki, Initiations, and some other things. Some of these I became certified in; others I decided to leave behind me before I reached the end of the course, for they served no further purpose. And why hang around something that no longer lifts you up beyond where you thought you could be? This was my attitude with everything I could get my hands on at that time.
Liberation: The end of desperation, but the beginning of your life!
After years of this desperate quest, filled with effort, judgment, self-torture and constant striving, I finally gave up on trying to follow other teachers' ideas of what to practice. I decided to trust myself instead, out of sheer mental exhaustion.
This exhaustion and letting go happened in a state of utter despondency and disappointment at the failure of my relentless attempts to 'get it' and to 'get it in time', and to play by other people's beliefs. These people were, I finally realized, no more enlightened than I was – even if they had practiced some form of meditation for 30 years, had a long beard, or were perceived as enlightened by others. I realized that the status some people wore of being 'an enlightened one' meant absolutely zero to me.
It was then, in India, that I had my first profound shift in allegiance toward that which I already knew underneath to be true, but had doubted because of the apparent authority of 'other enlightened ones': The infinite potential, all present vibrantly and brilliantly, always and already right here and now. It was this truth of the very presence of (my) existence itself that had nudged me all along and carried me through my desperate yet focused search, and purged me out into self-reliance, self-responsibility, and Self-Realization, as well as into a life filled with ever-expanding wonder, awe, joy, and empowerment in ways I could not imagine before.
Following the shift in allegiance from 'others know the truth' to 'what I am is the truth', a deep relaxation remained — a non-referential ease of being. This had been recognized before, but its ever-presence was overlooked because of the belief that I did not yet have the answer. Life revealed itself to shine fully and completely by its own power alone. It offered its presence with an incredible naturalness, requiring no effort or maintenance whatsoever. This, I realized, was simply The Natural State of Existence Itself.
Finally, I had found what I was so desperately seeking: I was now in touch with the foundation that could provide any answer to life's many callings; therefore, this realization of Life Itself, was indeed The Ultimate Answer.
I naturally continued, as if taking a bath, to sink into this indescribable freedom that didn't, and still doesn't, seem to know an end or boundary. This awakening was the beginning of my life and the end of an unpleasant dream where I thought lack and separation could truly, possibly exist. Ha!
Enlightenment is not the end, it is only the beginning — the foundation for any real evolution or transformation to occur. So what are we waiting for? Instead of dreaming of a faraway place called 'enlightenment', let us at least get started realizing the truth that never leaves our presence; for it is our presence. This freedom is all-inclusive, ever-available, never-ending, and it is meant to be discovered, at the very least, by everyone.
http://www.bentinhomassaro.com
Interview recorded 10/26/2013 at the Science and Non-Duality Conference in San Jose, California.
Discussion for this interview is in the forum.
Video and audio below. Audio also available as a Podcast.